Why I'm a United Methodist
Part 4 of a Four-Part Journey through my Denominational Shifts and Faith Formation
Throughout this month, I’ve been reflecting on the different church traditions that have shaped my life: Catholic, Baptist, and Non-Denominational. This week I’m sharing how the United Methodist Church brought all those threads together and why it is now the place I call home.
If you missed the early parts of the series, you can read them all here:
Growing Disconnected: When the Church No Longer Had a Place for Us
After months of searching, we finally gave up. For whatever reason, it seemed there was no longer any place in church for a young married couple who had both grown up in church their entire lives. In 2002, deconstruction was not a thing, and honestly, we didn’t leave over theological or political issues like so many do today.
These were the “good ole days” of church, when evangelical congregations were growing by leaps and bounds. In the wake of 9/11 everyone said we were experiencing revival and renewed interest in church nationwide. But in our experience, those growing churches only wanted people who checked all the boxes, and we only had two out of the big four:
☒ Young – check
☒ Married – check
☐ Children – no
☐ Financially stable / well-off – no
Despite all our church leadership experience in a once thriving church plant, and a lifetime of active church membership, it seemed we had nothing to offer a local congregation in our area, or at least nothing that they were looking for. In almost every church we visited, very few people spoke to us, and there seemed to be no place for us to belong or to serve.
I never walked away from God, but somewhere along the way it felt like God’s people walked away from me.
Still, I couldn’t get past the stirring that something wasn’t right. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was loneliness or lack of community. But whatever emotions were involved, I got a clear sense that God was saying, “How can you be my child and not want to live in my house?” (for more of that story, check out my post, “Still Here: Faith, Family, and the Messy Church”).
Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors
Eventually my restlessness and frustration with a difficult boss in my warehouse job led me to answer an ad for a part-time youth ministry position in a United Methodist Church. I knew nothing about the Methodists, but I was impressed by the pastor’s vision and his openness to my experience and ideas.
I was honestly surprised when they called back to offer me the job, because I knew I was far from qualified. The first several months I struggled to find my footing, but eventually a few new students started to trickle in, and we developed a solid core group of at least 10 to 12 teenagers on a weekly basis.
It was never easy, but I truly grew to love those students, and despite a rocky ending with the church, my two years there were some of the most formative years of my life.
The Gift of Mentorship
A big part of that formation was because of Pastor Bill. Other than a part-time administrative assistant, I was the only staff member at this small, semi-rural church, but we still had a weekly staff meeting. We usually finished the business in less than 15 minutes, but somewhere between the 15- and 30-minute mark, Pastor Bill and I would trail off into some theological conversation that could go on for hours.
Before long, the admin got used to the rhythm and simply went back to work once it was clear the “official” meeting had ended.
Bill was the first pastor who had ever made space for my questions. He rarely challenged my more fundamentalist theology directly, though there were probably times he should have. Instead, he saw my hunger for something deeper, and he offered resources that stretched me beyond where I was.
He invited my wife and I to be part of a cluster group made up of pastors and lay leaders from around our county. We talked about our various ministries, the needs of our community, and shared communion together on a regular basis. Unlike many church networks today that are structured by the district and conference, this gathering was entirely organic.
Over time, we began to find ways to support one another’s ministries. One church sent musicians to help another start a contemporary service. I was invited to an even smaller church to help coach a few parents who wanted to start a youth ministry. And ultimately this group helped plant a new congregation in a growing part of the county.
The beauty of our meetings was that they were never about the outcomes. We didn’t have an agenda and the fruit that emerged was Spirit-led. The power came from simply being together and listening to one another’s stories. It was about connection and cooperation rather than competition.
Later in seminary, I would formally learn about the “connectionalism” that defined the United Methodist Church. On paper it seemed too good to be true. But I had experienced the power of this connection firsthand. It was more than polity or structure; it was a way of life.
Choosing the UMC
Several of the pastors in this group were Asbury alumni and since they had been such great role models for us, we didn’t think twice about going there when we finally answered the call to seminary. And though things have changed dramatically with Asbury and our denomination, it was the perfect place for us in that season.
But this reflection isn’t about seminary. It’s about why I chose to commit my life to ordination in the United Methodist Church.
Looking back, there are three primary convictions that made me finally feel at home in the UMC:
1. Head & Heart Together
The UMC was the first church where it didn’t feel like I had to check my brain at the door. They weren’t afraid of my questions and even made space for them when I disagreed. Ultimately, they provided me with the best educational opportunities of my life at both Asbury Seminary and Duke Divinity School.
2. Connectionalism
For all the churches I attended throughout my life, I never saw the kind of cooperative ministry I experienced in the UMC. There was something compelling about being part of something larger than myself or any one congregation.
My passion for connectionalism has been a marker of my entire pastoral ministry. As a clergy couple, my wife and I have consistently worked to bring churches in our area together for study, worship, and service. Over the past two years, I’ve brought two small congregations together in a full merger, and despite the challenges, we are much stronger together.
3. Grace
The third primary reason I have chosen to make my home in the United Methodist Church is its emphasis on grace.
I learned about grace in the Baptist church, but it was often little more than a “get out of hell free” card, or for me, a “get out of confession & penance” card after the scars from my Catholic childhood.
This “salvation by grace” is what Wesley called justifying grace. It’s not unimportant, but for me, it wasn’t enough.
I knew too many people who touted “once saved, always saved” while acting nothing like Christ. I had an instinctive sense that salvation ought to have some impact on our lives here and now, not just after we died.
That’s where Wesley and the Methodist tradition filled in the gaps with prevenient and sanctifying grace.
Prevenient grace is the grace that goes before. It is the recognition that God was present long before we were aware of it, always drawing us toward relationship. This is why I can look back over my denominational journey and see glimpses of truth and grace at every step, even in moments when God felt absent.
Whereas the Baptist tradition put all the weight on my decision for Christ, my lived experience tells me something deeper was at work all along, drawing me toward a lifelong relationship rather than a single moment of conversion.
Sanctifying grace is the part that really sealed it for me.
One way I like to describe it is that God meets us where we are, but God loves us too much to leave us there.
The same grace that saves us also bears in us the fruits of holiness, making us more like Christ throughout our lives. Grace isn’t just about forgiveness; it’s about being made perfect in love.
I have experienced sanctifying grace throughout my 23 years as a Methodist, especially in my Spiritual Formation work. While justifying grace gave me hope and comfort in death, sanctifying grace and ongoing spiritual formation gave me something worth living for here and now.
A Wide, Spacious Faith
In contrast to the constraints and exclusivism I felt in my Catholic, Baptist, and other Evangelical churches, the Big Tent of Methodism has given me room to breathe. It has allowed me to encounter the richness and diversity of the Spirit’s presence in places my teenage self would have considered dangerous.
As a UMC minister, I’ve had the privilege of learning from and experiencing God in a wide range of ecumenical and contemplative streams, including Celtic Christianity, the ancient mystics, open-relational theology, and more. The denomination also supported my training as a spiritual director which has allows me to walk alongside people from a variety of spiritual backgrounds and traditions.
Where my earlier churches often tried to keep God in a box, Methodism gave me permission to get rid of the box and to catch the wind of the Wild Goose (Holy Spirit) in various and beautiful expressions around the world.
In the UMC, I have found a God who is not threatened by those outside our walls, but who meets each of us where we are and draws us together into one beloved community of every tribe, tongue, and nation.
When I thought salvation was a one-time prayer, it felt small and boring. Now that I understand salvation as a lifelong journey, being formed more and more into the image of Christ, the possibilities are endless.
Heart Strangely Warmed
Like any denomination, the UMC has its challenges and flaws. Yet, in the words of John Wesley, my heart has been strangely warmed in this beautiful, though imperfect, connection. The world is my parish, and the Spirit my guide.
As we pray at the Communion table, so I pray for all of us, no matter where we find ourselves on the journey of faith:
Let us be for the world the body of Christ, redeemed by his blood.
By your Spirit, O God, make us one with Christ, one with each other, and one in ministry to all the world, until Christ comes in final victory, and we feast at his heavenly banquet.
Through Your Son Jesus Christ, with the Holy Spirit in your holy church, all honor and glory is yours, almighty Father, now and forever.
Amen.
Further Conversation:
Over this past month, I’ve taken us on a journey through my own spiritual heritage, noting both the pain and the grace along the way.
I’d love to hear your story. What does the idea of a “spiritual home” mean to you? And where are you finding, or struggling to find, a place of belonging these days?
These reflections are always offered freely. If they’ve been meaningful to you, you can support my work by buying me a coffee as a small gesture of encouragement. Thank you for reading and journeying alongside me.
If you’d like to explore more of my writing…
Join me next week…
as I reflect on why we believe what we believe and how those beliefs, conscious or not, shape the way we live. What does it look like to put our beliefs into practice, or perhaps even more poignant, what does our spiritual practice say about what we actually believe?
God meets us where we are, but God loves us too much to leave us there.